Before I returned to work after I had our second child, my husband and I had to figure out a schedule that works best for us when it comes to dropping off and picking up the kids at daycare. We decided that I would go to work early (I’m usually at the office at 7/7:30am), while he gets up, gets ready, gets the kids up and ready, and takes them to daycare before heading off to work. I will leave the office around 4 and pick up the kids from daycare. My husband will get off work and be home between 6 and 7pm. This works for us …. most days.
But our schedule is not what I want to talk about. I want to bring up an epidemic that is sweeping the nation! Since I have returned to work, I have had MULTIPLE people inquire about how I get the kids ready and out the door so early in order for me to get to work so early. My response is that I don’t. My husband does.
Apparently, my husband having any responsibilities when is comes to raising our children is unfathomable to some people.
My husband and I both work full time jobs. My husband and I both financially contribute to the household. My husband and I both contribute to the household chores. My husband and I both have a part in raising our children. So why is society dictating that, as the mother, I am the one who needs to make the sacrifices at work for my family? Why does it seem that working mothers are never good enough? We’re not good enough if we’re not at the office enough. We’re not good enough if we’re not at home enough. We’re not good enough if we leave work for our kids doctor appointments and sick days. We’re not good enough if we DO leave work for our kids doctor appointments and sick days.
It’s like, once you become a mom, people immediately lower their expectations of your performance as a mom and any other role you may have. That may sound nice; to have sort of a break from the demands. But, dammit, I worked hard to get to where I am! I work hard to be a good mom. And I work hard to be good at my job. And I am very proud of both of these roles.
My questions is this …. how come working dads don’t get the same grief for being dads?
Do you have any experience with how you are treated differently by colleagues and/or peers since you became a mom?